Psalm 113

Have you read Psalm 113? Do you cling to verse 9?

"He gives the barren woman a home,
making her the joyous mother of children.
Praise the Lord!"

 
I first took notice of this verse during the summer of 2010. I was attending an amazing women’s bible study group on a weekly basis. In additional to our lesson and prayer requests, we would read - aloud - though one chapter of Psalms each week. During one of the hardest and lowest point in our infertility journey, I heard this verse and felt God speak to me.

I have read this verse many times since then, now thankful for God’s fulfilled promise. But I am often left with the question, "what about the woman who wanted, but never got to have children?" Why wasn’t this promise fulfilled for her? After reading this verse responsively last Sunday in church I still don’t have an answer to these question, but I do have a new perspective on this chapter in Psalms.

1 Praise the Lord!
Praise, O servants of the Lord,
praise the name of the Lord!

2 Blessed be the name of the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore!

3 From the rising of the sun to its setting,
the name of the Lord is to be praised!

4 The Lord is high above all nations,
and his glory above the heavens!

5 Who is like the Lord our God,
who is seated on high,

6 who looks far down
on the heavens and the earth?

7 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap,

8 to make them sit with princes,
with the princes of his people.

9 He gives the barren woman a home,
making her the joyous mother of children.
Praise the Lord!

It’s so easy to focus on that last verse. What a wonderful promise to those of us in desperate need of hope. But, now read through it again.

1 Praise the Lord!
Praise, O servents of the Lord,
praise the name of the Lord!

2 Blessed be the name of the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore!

3 From the rising of the sun to its setting,
the name of the Lord is to be praised!

4 The Lord is high above all nations,
and his glory above the heavens!

5 Who is like the Lord our God,
who is seated on high,

6 who looks far down
on the heavens and the earth?

7 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap,

8 to make them sit with princes,
with the princes of his people.

9 He gives the barren woman a home,
making her the joyous mother of children.
Praise the Lord!

This chapter is full of one very clear command - Praise the Lord.

This command is not qualified by anything such as Praise the Lord ... when things are good...or...for the victories. Just simply, Praise the Lord - for everything, good or bad. Maybe you’ve studied this chapter before, but for me this was a profound realization to understand how God’s amazing promise is surrounded by the clear and powerful command to Praise the Lord.

The “Infertile” Fertile

Today I want to pay tribute to what I call the "infertile" fertile. She is different from the "fertile" infertile (those suffering from recurrent loss) and she is different from the infertile in that she is actually fertile. You may know her best as just your single girlfriend - the one who wants desperately to be a mom more than anything in the world.

She may be fertile, but she has no more power than us infertiles to plan and have a family on "her time" - rather, like us, she is on God’s time. To ask her "when are you going to get married" cuts through her the same as the question "when are you going to have a baby" cuts through us. To tell her there are lots of eligible men is equivalent to "why don’t you just adopt". She’s excluded from couple’s activities the way we are excluded from family activities.

And, yet, in many ways she has it harder than us. She has no partner to share in her sorrow. She feels she is two steps (husband + pregnancy) away from building her long-dreamed-of family. She prays and pleads with God just as many of us have and do.

It’s easy to overlook her longing, because she - assumably - has something we don’t have: functioning reproductive parts. Today I encourage you to show these ladies in your life grace and love. Pray for them, their hearts, their future spouse, and their future family.

~ ~ ~　

* This post is in no way meant to ignore or diminish the choice of some woman to parent alone. Rather, it’s reflective of the fact that most single woman I know either don’t want to parent alone or don’t feel called to do so. Also, just like infertility, this too can apply to men.

ICLW + 200th Post

After a several month hiatus I have joined back up with the August ICLW. If you are unfamiliar with ICLW, go here for more information. It’s really a great way to connect with other bloggers.

If you are here from ICLW - welcome. For a short recap of our journey, go HERE. Also check out the tabs at the top of the page for more information, such as my book reviews and my 30 Before 30 challenge.

As I mention above, this is also my 200^th post. Maybe I should have waited to share our Exciting News until this post? Instead, I will just share some fun blogging stats:

Date of 1^st Post: 8/4/2011
Date of 100^th Post: 6/18/2012
Total Page View to Date: 25,272
Followers: 30

I started this blog for the purpose of connecting with other embryo adoption moms. I had been following the blogs of other moms for a while, but did not feel connected. Once I stared blogging I felt the connections develop and now have many acquittances and even a few good friends as a result. And, thanks to ICLW, I even have a few blog friends outside the embryo adoption network.

Thanks for checking in!

Have I Ever Mentioned...

I hate progesterone. I don't remember feeling this way about the POI. I mean the shots were not fun, but I don't remember feeling this way emotionally and physically. It's seems to just be Provera that does not agree with me.

I want back and read through my old post and it was like it took the words right out of my mouth about how I am feeling today:

"Progesterone makes me a person I really do not like. I am irritable and just plain grumpy. [ ... ]everything anyone did annoyed me. [ ... ] I feel ill at the world right now and I don’t like it. I have so much to be thankful for and happy about that I really hate feeling so negative."

I guess the up side is that it really is just the Provera making me feel this way. And I only have to take it every few months. So, in an effort to be more cheerful, I'll leave you with this darling picture of Leland cutting is own banana:

Diagnosis

I have a guest post over at No Good Eggs. I am one of Kimberly’s guest bloggers while she is on vacation. My post is about my premature ovarian failure diagnosis. After I wrote the post Kimberly said I left her hanging a bit and asked for more. By the time I sent her “more” she had already left for vacation. So below…is the rest of the story.

If you are one of my readers be sure to head over to No Good Eggs for the beginning of the story.

If you are new and are here from Kimberly’s blog. Welcome!

AFTER MY DIAGNOSIS

My diagnosis came with no explanation, no treatment plan, no advice, nothing. Initially, I did not even really understand what it meant. Being a type-A personality, I am addicted to knowing all the information, uncovering all of the answers. I found myself on a mission to not just understand and treat this newly discovered diagnosis, but to also uncover the mystery of how I had never known about it.

I searched the internet. I ordered books. I referred myself to the only local reproductive endocrinologist. And I began requesting old medical records.

The reproductive endocrinologist confirmed my diagnosis and educated me about the medical risks associated with premature ovarian failure, including other autoimmune issues and osteoporosis. Meanwhile, I poured over my old medical records determined to find an answer. And the answer I found was only more confusing and upsetting.

My medical records actually indicated I had been told I have premature ovarian failure. I felt lost. How could I have been told, yet not know? Did I, still a child, just misunderstand? Did my mother, despite being a registered nurse, also misunderstand? Did the doctor say one thing and chart another? Did my mother know and just keep it a secret from me? Was no one brave enough to tell a teenager she would likely never have children?

These questions followed me for years. Not yet pursuing children, I willed myself to focus on the medical aspect of my condition. It is easier to think about good bone health than broken ovaries.

Finally – over two years later – I confronted my mother with these questions, with my diagnosis. She was shocked, stating she too never knew. Emphasizing what a crazy time in our life that was due to (unrelated) issues going on in our family. This left me with a mix of emotions. Relief that I was not the only one who did not know and that she had not been keeping a secret from me. Frustration that she did not fight harder for answers for me. Abandonment in that once again I had been the child whose issues had been deemed the lesser issues, so much lesser in fact that those issues were unmemorable, forgotten entirely.   

My diagnosis of premature ovarian failure has been a rocky road emotionally. Being “diagnosed” so young and learning of my diagnosis years before we started wanting to conceive, my journey has looked a little different from most who discover their infertility while actively and unsuccessfully trying to conceive. It is however, this journey which led us to embryo adoption and our miracle, Leland.

Babies....babies....everywhere

That second pregnancy announcement that I knew was coming finally came at the 4^th of July cookout. Knowing it is coming always helps, but it is what it is. We actually went on a long-weekend beach trip with these friends a few weeks ago and I suspected it at the time, but then started wondering since they said nothing and she didn’t have any significant symptoms. I even started wondering if maybe she was having some difficulty getting pregnant. Which brings up the point of why do we torture ourselves obsessing over other peoples reproductive habits?

This announcement is actually a third pregnancy announcement in that it actually comes on top of my cousin’s announcement from a few weeks ago. My cousin and my two friends are all due within a six week window. Overall I am not too affected, but have had a few moments of anxiety. One such came this week with a text massaged ultrasound photo. It caught me off guard in the middle of the work day. Making matters much worse was that it was a group text so my phone blew up over the next hour with responses.

I really am very happy for all of them and I am excited to meet their little ones. But something about it is still just hard.

Perspective

There has been a lot going on lately, keeping me busy and away from blogging. I hope to update on the on-goings of life soon, but wanted to first set out some of the thoughts that relate back to my friend’s joyous announcement at my birthday dinner.

First, there is the logical, think-things-through side of me. I reasoned that I had forced her hand...put her on the spot...after all I had just offered her a margarita. And we are close friends so I wouldn’t have wanted her to lie or to hide it from me. I clung to this rationale for a while. Until I realized that Robert and I were the last to know. She had announced to everyone else (in our circle of friends) previously that week. I also discovered that she came that night with the intent to announce to us. After more thought than I ever should have given this I have concluded that some people really do not get it.

Putting aside the think-it-through, "me-focused" rationale, has given way to some perspective. I would find myself driving down that road, playing scenarios in my head - ways the announcement could have been handled better or things I could have said differently - and then my thoughts would drift to more pressing matters in my own life and in the lives of those I love. I would think about my dad and how his condition is progressing significantly; I would think about my mom who struggles each day to find the strength and courage to care for my dad; I would think about (multiple) friends of mine whose parents are fighting cancer; I would think about friends and acquaintances who have recently suffered miscarriages and failed transfers. The heartache, the loss, the worry. All overwhelming in comparison. A healthy dose of perspective.

My perspective was put to a test this past weekend. My cousin announced she is pregnant. Overall, I had a very positive response to her announcement. I’m not sure if it was the different circumstances of the announcement, the fact that I know she has had a prior loss, the fact that although younger than me she is not in my cohort and thus not someone with whom I compare myself. Either way, I am happy for her. And it feels good to be happy for her.

“I’m Me”

Recently Robert has been working on pronouns with Leland. Leland is doing a great job identifying himself as “me” and others as “you”. He will see our reflection, point to me in the refection and say “you”.

The best – and cutest part – is this now regularly occurring conversation:

“Leland, who are you?”

“I’m Me!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’s these little things. Little moments. Little achievements. They make motherhood so sweet. I know I don’t have a true reference point in that I’ve never parented as a “fertile” woman. But I really believe that all the hurdles on my path to motherhood have made me more perceptive of the miracle of every laugh, every word, and every discovery. If you are still jumping your hurdles (or tripping over them), keep running because it is so worth it! And know that we are cheering you on!

A Season of Waiting

Advent marks the beginning of the new church year. It is the time of preparation for the birth of Jesus. It is a season of waiting.

 Two years ago at this time we were in a season of waiting. Infertility in generally is much a season of waiting. In 2010, just after Thanksgiving, we had received very strong Beta level results. Our levels were not only high but tripled during the 48 hours between Beta 1 and Beta 2. Our first ultrasound was scheduled for December 15^th. As we waited on the first ultrasound we prayed, we hoped and we wondered about the three precious embryos we had transferred. We wondered if those high numbers had resulted in two – or even  three – implantations. We worried that in spite of the blood levels that our first ultrasound could bring bad news. We were waiting and praying.

God used our time of waiting then to give me a whole new perspective on the season of Advent. I reflected a lot on how Mary must have felt waiting on the arrival of her son, of God’s Son. The magnitude of her waiting and her wondering really impacted me. For the past two years Advent has had a much deeper meaning for me and what it means to prepare our hearts, our minds, and our homes for the arrival for Christ.  

I have been planning and thinking for weeks on how to execute an Advent calendar with Leland in a meaningful, but age appropriate way. I searched online, and went to Pin*terest and Etsy for inspiration. And finally it has all come together. The first struggle was to find or make an advent calendar. All the ones I liked were too expensive and all the ones I could afford either didn’t have a big enough opening or were Santa themed. Finally, I found a beautiful wooden advent calendar with little doors for a great deal at TJ*Ma*xx (the boxes are about 2in x 2in).

 

The next challenge was to develop an age appropriate curriculum.  And to account for the fact that we will be on vacation (a cruise) from December 17-22. I saw these nativity stickers at the store this weekend and was finally inspired. I am cutting them up and putting a sticker in each day. I have also copied pages out of a daily Advent devotional (each devotional is really short with two Bible verses and a short paragraph) I got from church. I will tuck the copied pages (I shrunk them a bit) into the boxes as well. Finally, in addition the short devotional and talking about the new sticker as we add it to our nativity scene I hope to read a Christmas themed book each day at bed time.

My plan is to do this for two week before going on vacation and then pick back up on December 24^th & 25^th with stickers of baby Jesus and the star.

Things Not to Say to an Infertile #112

I was on my way out of the daycare a few weeks ago when I bumped into one of the other mothers. We talked for a while about several things when the discussion fell on whether or not I was going to have another child soon. I candidly shared that conceiving Leland had been difficult and shared our Embryo Adoption story with her.

She replied – trying to relate – that she had difficulty conceiving as well and that she had a difficult pregnancy, developing gestational diabetes at about 5 months…JUST WEEKS PRIOR TO HER WEDDING. Really, honey…I am so sorry it took you and your boyfriend several months of unprotected sex to get knocked up. Are you kidding me???

Round Two

There are eight children in Leland’s daycare class. This year, they have the children grouped by birth year, so all of the children in his class were born in 2011. They range in age from about 9 months to about 20 months. Only one of the children in his class has an older sibling. It occurred to me the other day that the group was reaching an age at which some families would attempt to have a second child.

And today – it happened. I found out at lunch from one of his teachers that the little girl who is just 18 days older than him is expecting a younger sibling already. Her mom is an attorney too, but works in a different court than I do. I knew it could be coming, but wow, I’m still just really surprised that my “cohort” is on to round two already!

“You could be pregnant right now….”

So I have this co-worker… Well, let me breakdown the whole office for you first. My office has five attorneys. Me and four male attorneys. I do juvenile court; they all do superior court (adult felonies). We have two secretaries (both female) and an investigator (male). When I started here two years ago there was one less attorney doing superior court work. They added a position back at the first of this year. The person they hired is nice enough, but can really rub people the wrong way – I’ll call him “D”.

So recently D is having a conversation in the hallway with our investigator. I walk by. D looks my way and says “take Lara, she could be pregnant right now.” (D now talking to me) “You really don’t know. You could be pregnant right now.” For a very brief moment I just stare at him. Then the image of my empty uterus on the ultrasound screen from my check-up with the RE in June flashed through my head.

When I finally get my bearings, I reply….”no really. I know I am not pregnant. But if my uterus or my ovaries ever need a cheerleader I know who to call.”

On the upside. He’s transferring to another office in our circuit next month and we’re getting a new hire in his place.

RE Visit

I took the day off work to visit my RE. I was checking back in with him about my hormone regiment. First I was concerned about my triglycerides. My cholesterol has been going down, but my triglycerides have been going up. My research (thanks Dr. Google) found that is could be the prolonged use of oral estrogen. I have been taking oral estrogen - 2mg a day - since just after Leland's birth to help with milk production. My RE said that my research was correct but that switching to estrogen patches could disrupt my milk production and that short-term elevated triglycerides was not a huge deal. So for now I stay on the same estrogen regiment. The best news of the visits - besides not needing an u/s - was that I can stop doing the provera induced bleeds every three months. I hate, hate, hate progesterone. It makes me feel awful and moody. Based on my last visit with my RE I was due for another round in a week, but as long as I am not having breakthrough bleeding I can keep taking the estrogen without the awful progesterone. Yea! The worst news of the visit. I found out that my perinatologist, who is also my OB/GYN is moving to California in September. I am devastated. I have never met a better doctor in my life. He took amazing care or me and Leland through the pregnancy and after. He is brilliant and really an expert on a very complicated pregnancy-related condition I have. A condition that if managed wrong could result in a cranial bleed in my fetus or death. I have sworn that I would never see another OB/GYN EVER no matter how far I moved - I drove nearly 100 miles from work to his office while pregnant with Leland. Is California to far to travel to a doctor while pregnant? On the upside, at least I now have a little notice and can schedule an appointment before he leaves.

Home Search and Family Building

I have discovered that our home search is a bit clouded with fear. Fear that we would buy a house that would somehow prevent us from growing our family.

If the house is too small, there would be no room to expand. This is a two sided fear. First, there is the fear that the home could actually be too cramped if we were to expand our family. Second, is that even if we would be comfortable with the smaller home, our home study would be denied for lack of space. If we do choose to try to expand our family we will likely choose to start on the same path as before – embryo adoption through the NEDC. We know that this route has a 30% or so chance of multiples. So when considering trying to expand our family we have to at least in a small part ask if the house could accommodate five people (if we were ever to be so blessed).

On the other hand, if we were to buy a house that is too large (and thus too expensive), this could limit our ability to save money for a future embryo adoption. Also, if we buy a house with too many projects we could find ourselves spending extra money on home improvements rather than saving. And then of course there is the typical concern for simply the cost of raising additional children.

Through recognizing that our home search is affected by fear, I have also realized that my career choices are likewise affected. Currently, my employment is though the state. I get state benefits, which include 3 weeks of vacation a year, 3 weeks of sick leave a year and protection under the FMLA for maternity leave. Although I love my job, the pay is low, there is no potential for advancement and there is no raise in sight. If I were to work for a private firm (I am an attorney, btw), I would work more hours and be paid better. And, I would have the potential to become a partner in the firm. However, I would give up the substantial leave time and would no longer be entitled to FMLA for maternity leave. I often consider my professional aspirations, but never without the question of family building in the back of my mind. More money would help us afford embryo adoption, but at what cost?

I know that balancing finances, work, and family are normal concerns for even a fertile gal. It’s just the added pressure of the home study (did you know you have to get an employer recommendation as part of the home study?), the cost of treatments, the potential for multiples, and the frequent doctor visits that complicates things.

Lessons from a Penguin

As I mentioned in my previous post, we spent Mother’s Day at the Tennessee Aquarium. One of our favorite exhibits is the penguin exhibit. I have loved penguins since I was little and Robert loves them too. Really, who doesn’t like penguins?

Our timing was perfect on Sunday. We arrived at the penguin exhibit just as a show / presentation was starting. She pointed out all the mating pairs and that there were four pairs who already had an egg. By August, the remaining pairs could also produce an egg. Then she explained that most of the eggs don’t survive and that in the past five years there have only been two live births of baby penguins at the aquarium. She said they have learned that an egg does not equal a live chick.

I have to assume that most people gave this comment no more than a passing thought. But it just hit so close to home for me. It made me a little sad for the penguins and for the couples I know trying so hard to bring home their baby.

How well we all know that an egg – or even an embryo- does not equal giving birth to a baby.

Provera Sucks

I hate progesterone. Before we were TTC via embryo adoption I was put on a hormone regiment that included Estrogen patches (2 per week) and Provera for the first ten days of the month. I had been to see the experts in Premature Ovarian Failure (POF) at the National Institute of Health and this is the regiment that believe is the most likely to result in one of the 6% miraculous natural pregnancies experienced by those diagnosed with POF. This regiment balanced me out and made me feel good in general, but I would always dread the provera.

(Side Note: If you have POF or know someone how does, I really encourage you to make the trip to the National Institute of Health to participate in their program. It answered a lot of questions for me and was where I first learned about embryo adoption. UPDATE: The National Institute of Health no longer brings patients in for the study, but rather orders tests and communicates remotely with participants and their doctors)

While I am breastfeeding I am not back on my regular hormones and at times this makes me feel a little crazy. I am taking unopposed Estrogen (2mg / day) to support breastmilk production. I tolerate this pretty well but Estrace does make me a little tired. Then, every three months I am taking ten days of Provera to induce a bleed in an effort to so some spring cleaning of my uterine lining. But I hate it.

Progesterone makes me a person I really do not like. I am irritable and just plain grumpy. I really noticed this yesterday. It was like everything anyone did annoyed me. Even Leland was frustrating me. And then I was exerting so much effort to keep the pissy thoughts and feelings to myself and not express them or take them out on anyone.  I feel ill at the world right now and I don’t like it. I have so much to be thankful for and happy about that I really hate feeling so negative.  Hormones suck.  Oh…and then the prize for getting to stop taking the dreaded Provera….heavy bleeding for a week to ten days…yea!

Sorry for my ranting post….I promise to return to my normally happy and positive (progesterone free) self soon!

February

From following other’s infertility journey I have noticed that it is common to dread a certain time a year as it marks one more year of trying without success; one more year without a baby. Common times seem to be birthdays, Christmas, or the anniversary of the time of year they started trying to conceive (TTC). Looking back I never really faced birthday or Christmas with dread. Not even Mother’s Day got me down because I had always seen it as a day to honor my mother, nothing more. And we don’t have a TTC anniversary because conception with Premature Ovarian Failure is practically impossible. But for some reason February has always held some power over me.

I remember around the end of 2009, telling Robert that I just had to be pregnant by February of 2011. I did not understand the deadline, but I felt very strongly about it. Going into our transfer in November 2010, I kept thinking if this isn’t successful, we have one more try to meet the February 2011 deadline. Thankful our first transfer was a success. But why February?

I have reflected on this often, and the only milestone in February is my dad’s birthday. (I don’t think Valentine’s Day would have any effect). My dad will be 70 on February 22, 2012. His physical health is good, but he is struggling with an unspecified dementia, with some indication that it may be Parkinson’s Disease. My dad is my world and my hero and I think February must have held such a power over me because I wanted my dad to be here when my children are born. My granddaddy (my dad’s dad) was an incredible man, but he died before I was born. I never wanted that for my children. I want my dad to know my children and my children to know my dad. And I am so thankful that they will have that opportunity to know one another. Still I fear that Leland may be too young to remember or really know my dad if my dad only lives a few more years.

In honor of my dad’s 70^th Birthday, I am planning a party with a sit-down lunch for about 40 people in my hometown. It’s a little overwhelming, but I am really happy to be able to do thing for my dad. Best of all I am hoping to get all four of my sisters / half-sisters and me together with my dad for this event. Only once before has my dad seen all five of his daughters together at one time. And it will be an opportunity for the three of my sister who have not yet met Leland to meet him. I’m tired from all the prep, but really looking forward to spending time with family to honor my dad.

Infertility Resolved

I was reading an article on Ovarian Insufficiency Treatment & Management. (Premature Ovarian Failure is a common name for what is really Primary Ovarian Insufficiency). It went through the basics of making the diagnosis, counseling the patient, and basic treatment options. Here is what it said about resolving / treating the infertility aspect of the condition:

“Currently available options to resolve infertility include change of family building plans”

Oh, that’s what I was missing. I could have saved all the trouble and resolved my infertility problems by simply changing my plans. Nice.

Updates

I have had so many blog posts floating around in my head, but no time to write them. I guess that is how it happens. The busier you are the more you have to write about and the less time you have to write it. So I have decided to just post some bullet points and then expand on them in posts (hopefully) in the near future:

•  Leland is doing great with solids. He loves food. He eats twice a day at 2 PM and 6 PM. He has tried sweet potatoes, applesauce, pears, rice, oatmeal, avocados, and bananas.
• I have my period (thanks to Pro.ver.a) and am bleeding super heavy. This may be TMI, but I am bleeding more now than postpartum. My uterine lining got to 14mm thanks to 4 months of unopposed estrogen. By comparison my lining was LESS than 6mm at the time of the FET. I feel really crappy.
• My Reproductive Endocrinologist (who manages my hormone replacement therapy) wants me to stop breastfeeding. I want to cry every time I think about it. I am only producing milk with the assistance of the aforementioned unopposed estrogen and he thinks I should stop sooner than later. Even with the unopposed estrogen my production is struggling. He said we will discuss it more at my next appointment which should be in March.
•  Leland has his first diaper rash. As diaper rash goes it’s not horrible. But to a concerned mama it’s awful and I am doing everything I can to clear it up as quickly as possible. Any suggestions are welcome.
• My 21 year old, unmarried, sister-in-law is pregnant. I really want to post more about this soon, but as fellow infertiles I am certain you can imagine my state of mind. I am trying to focus on the fact that I know she is terrified and pray for her. Her name is Hannah if you would like to pray for her too.
• We are house hunting. Right now Robert and I both commute an hour to work. With Leland, I just can’t do it anymore. We are looking for a house close to my work and Leland’s daycare – in my hometown where I work.

I hope to post more soon, but I will leave you with a few recent pictures:

Today at lunch at the daycare.

 Happy Eater!

He just recently grew into these PJs. He looks like such a "little boy" here to me.

10 Step Fertility Action Plan

I was sitting in the doctor’s office this week. I looked down and saw across the top of a magazine “Your 10 Step Fertility Action Plan”. I knew it was pointless, but I opened it anyway. So, here’s some fertility advice ladies:

1.  Give up vices. (caffeine, tobacco, etc.)

2. Get your home ready.

3. Exercise.

4. Go organic.

5. Eat good fats…

So the list went on, but I stopped reading. Really? These will solve your fertility problems? They are good, healthy lifestyle changes, but fertility solutions they are not. Maybe it is just to empower those ladies who have been trying to get pregnant for 2-3 months with no success. Either way, had I written a 10 Step Fertility Action Plan this is what it would say:

1. Save up $12K. (our total EA cost)

2. Locate and select EA program.

3. Complete home study.

4. Lose weight. (to offset fertility drug weight gain)

5. HSG

6. Practice abdominal injections. (lupron)

7. Become friendly with the u/s “wand”.

8. Insert the pill where? (estrace)

9. FET

10. Practice intramuscular injections. (progesterone)

But I guess this wouldn’t make for a good magazine article…