No One Ever Told Me

I think all women going through pregnancy or life as a new mom have a "no one ever told me moment." I first witnessed this in college with one of my adjunct professors. One semester in college the professor in 4 out of my 5 courses were pregnant - oh the hormones! One of the professors with a new adjunct. One day we informed her about a schedule change due to our yearly career day. She response with what I called her no one ever told me meltdown. It started with no being told about the career day and spiraled down into all the things she was never told about pregnancy.

Since then I have noticed that most women have this moment. One friend of mine noted after the fact that no one told her that on the 3rd day after birth her newborn would eat constantly to help bring her milk in. She thought her daughter was starving and had a pretty rough night.

Despite all the reading and advice seeking I have done, even I had my no one ever told me. I did not know that having an epidural or spinal block (I had one for 24 hours because of the c section) caused the digestive system to shut down. Yep, even the books I read forgot to mention that. This system shut down results in horrible gas pains, days with no movement, and a total lack of appetite. And no though to mention this prior to the recovery room? Being a new mom is full of surprises.

Has anyone else had a "no one ever told me moment"?

8 Weeks

He is growing so big! He weighed in at 9 lbs 4 oz. on our kitchen scale. He is wearing mostly 0-3 month or 3 month size. Only the newborn pants still fit. He has a long torso and short legs.

He has started smiling this week, but it is still not a social smile. The biggest developmental step I have noticed this week is his interest in mobiles. He noticed the mobile over his changing table for the first time and has started staring at the mobile over his swing. The fascination in his eyes is amazing.

First Laugh

He laughed today! He was nursing and let out the cutest chuckle. It was not intentional, but it was oh so cute. I love these little moments.

Heavyweight

Our little one is packing on the pounds. Yesterday, I weighted him at 8lbs 14oz, prior to our feeing. He got 3 oz from the feeding (yea!) and tipped the scale post-feeding at 9lbs 1oz. He has graduated out of most newborn clothes. He has a long torso and short legs, so newborn pants still fit. Throughout my pregnancy his legs always measured about a week behind in length, while he would measure overall two weeks ahead (with a head circumference of 3+ weeks ahead). My husband would tease me that we were haing a bobble head baby.

He hasn't hit any new milestones this week, but is having a growth spurt. He nursed for almost two hours last night before bed. He then slept for six hours. Also, causing me some worry is that he hasn't pooped in over 36 hours and he's usually a frequent pooper. If there is no movement by this afternoon I plan to call the pediatrician. Any thoughts or advice?

Pregnancy Weight & Wii Fit

I have a confession. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy. I mean a lot! I keep telling myself that it is not really all my fault. First, I blame the hormones during the transfer protocol (I gained 9 lbs during that time). Next, I blame my thyroid. I spent more than half of the pregnancy with low thyroid levels. We kept upping my Sy.nthroid levels, but it kept getting off. During a time in which we discovered that my thyroid was particularly low I was packing on several pounds a week. For the last month - when we finally had my thyroid regulated a gained barely any weight. Finally, I blame the horrible swelling.

So, here is the breakdown. Pre-transfer weight = 152. Pre-pregnancy weight = 160. End of pregnancy weight = 200. A final weight gain of 48 lbs or a 32% increase in my body wight.

The upside is, I am actually making progress losing the weight. In the first 12 days I lost 23 lbs (mostly water I assume). Then I got on the scale at my doctor's office at five weeks and I had not lost anymore weight. That was discouraging. But I am determined to track my weight and get it off. So bring in the Wii Fit. I dreaded getting on it, knowing I would have to watch my little character swell up to represent my now larger size. Having avoided the Wii Fit since before the transfer, I was not looking forward to being interrogated by a video game as to why I had gained so much weight and failed to meet my prior weight loss goal. I braved it and got on yesterday. It my surprise, I have lost 5 lbs more.

So, today I weigh 172 lbs. 12 lbs more than my pre-pregnancy weight and 20 lbs more than my pre-transfer weight.

Six Weeks

Our little one is six weeks old today. It has been a great six weeks. Here is what has been going on and how he has been doing:

- We weighted him on the kitchen scale tonight. He weighted 8lbs 2oz

- He is still wearing newborn clothes, but will outgrow the sleepers soon because of length

- He is eating about 2.5 oz of breast milk from the breast and about 1.5 oz of breast milk from a bottle each feeing. He still can not enough fast enough on his own to stop supplementing with pumped breast milk

- He developed a "fussy time" starting last week. It runs from lunch time to dinner or bedtime

- He is a supper night time sleeper. He regularly sleeps six hours straight and then I have to wake him for a feeding

- He is not smiling yet, but he has more control of his facial muscles, so hopefully soon

- He has great head control. He lifts and turns his head from side to side while playing on his back or stomach in his floor gym. He also grabs at toys.

- His favorite toy is his Wubbanub frog. He loves the pacifier that is attached, but also loves to suck the frog, grasp the frog, and cuddle the frog

I'm looking forward to the next six weeks, but sadly I then go back to work.

What I Love

I love that when I kiss is cheek, he stops crying. It usually goes like this. He wants to eat and I want to change his diaper before we start feeding. About half way through the diaper change he gets impatient and offers a few loud cries. I lean down and sweetly kiss is cheek, just to the left of his lips. And instantly he quites and looks at me content. I love this!

Middle of the Night Feedings

I am starrting to really enjoy our 3am or 4am feeding. He wakes me up with a few quite grunts and moans in his sleep. I go over to his bassenet and he is still asleep, but just sirring. I pick him up and take him to change his diaper. He wakes up while I am changing his diaper and just looks at me quietly. We settle in the rocker to nurse. He sleepy, but nurses very well. We suggle and nurse for about 45 minutes. Then I swaddle him and he goes right back to sleep.

I never thought I could enjoy being awake in the middle of the night for an hour every night, but it has become a really special time.

Breastfeeding

We've been having trouble. It started off well. I have been using a nipple shield since the beginning because his tiny mouth could not keep a good latch. He would suck, and then stop and rest, then suck again all throughout the feeding. Each time stopped, he would have to re-latch. The nipple shield just made it easier.

At birth he weighed 6lbs 9oz. By day five - at his first trip to the pediatrician - he was 5lbs 14oz and no one was concerned. We breastfed on demand. He was a happy eater, eating every 1 1/2 to 4 hours. He never acted as if he wasn't getting enough to eat. Day 19 we returned to the pediatrician to discover his weight is 6lbs 1oz. Commence panic.

So we started an elaborate feeding schedule - breastfeed on each breast for 20 minutes (40 minutes total), feed bottle of 1 1/2 oz breastmilk (or occasionally formula), then pump for 15-20 minutes. Repeat every 3-4 hours. Thankfully I had my husband's help and my mother's help. By one month (last Thursday), he weighted 7lbs 4 oz and the pediatrician was again happy. He said I could return to just breastfeeding.

I've met with the lactation nurse at the hospital twice. She says his latch is good, but his suck is a bit lazy and ineffective. His pediatrician agrees that his suck is weak, but says it will improve with time. At the lactation nurses' office we weigh him, feed him, and weigh him again. He is getting about 2 - 2 1/2 oz over 40 minutes on his own. He needs at least 3 oz. So, I have kept supplementing 4-5 of his feedings per day with the 1 - 1 1/2 oz bottle.

The major issue is my production. I've been fighting to hard to increase my production. I've taken Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle capsules, and now am using More Milk Plus herbal drops (tasty!). The drops have helped, but my production is still very low. I tried Reglan for about 3 days, but felt awful. It made me so, so sleepy at first. Then after about a day, I just felt apathetic and numb. I guess you could call is medication induced depression. I also had blurred vision. Having stopped taking the Reglan, I feel much better and back to myself. I pump 5-7 times per day and I get an average of about 1 oz per time (from both breasts combined). This is a huge improvement from the first week I was pumping like this and getting about 1/4 - 1/2 oz each time.

Thankfully, there may be a solution. Estrogen! Before the FET, I took Vivelle Dot (estrogen) and Provera as part of treatment of my POF. Both my OB and the lactation consultant warned me to resume my hormones because estrogen will halt the production of breastmilk. I feel better on my hormones (my body doesn't really produce any on it’s own and as a result I don’t menstruate without them) but breastfeeding is so much more important. I went to see my Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) on Monday and he asked if I had been having trouble breastfeeding. I told him I about all the trouble with production and he said he would expect me to have trouble with no estrogen in my system. It seems that it takes low doses of estrogen to produce prolactin and thus breastmilk. It was such a relief to discover there was a medical explanation for all the problems and that there was a solution. I started taking Estrace yesterday and am hoping the milk starts flowing soon.

Five Years & Happy Due Date

Last night we celebrated our 5th Anniversary. It was also our little one's due date. When we went for our transfer on November 16, 2010, I knew my due date would be around this time, but was amazed by God's timing when we were told our due date was our anniversary. My husband jokes that we really nailed our five year plan - funny in light of our total inability to actually plan thanks to infertility. But again, God's timing is perfect.

Last night we just went to dinner to celebrate. It was a special night being able to celebrate with our little miracle by our side.

One Month

Yesterday marked one month with our little miracle. It has been an incredible month full of so many blessings. Yes, there have been the expected hurdles of being a new mother and I am tired. I have also had difficulty with breastfeeding (more on that later). But overall, it’s just amazing – better than I had hoped. He has already grown and changed so much. Today we went for his one month check-up. He got a clean bill of health and his first vaccination (Hep B). Here is the one month picture I took last night.

Welcome

Welcome! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I plan to share our embryo adoption story over several posts coming soon. But, here are the highlights.

We were led to embryo adoption through the suggestion of a doctor at the National Institute of Health. When I began researching embryo adoption there was not a lot of information available. Searching the internet I found the NEDC. My local clinic also recommended the NEDC. We began the process with the NEDC, including our home study, in March of 2010. Our trial transfer was August 2, 2010. Then on November 16, 2010, three embryos were transferred. On December 15, 2010, we saw one perfect heartbeat of our miracle boy.

Our embryo adoption is an open adoption. This blog is devoted to navigating our new life as a family of three, grown through the blessing and miracle of embryo adoption.