New Study

On my way to work this morning I heard a news report on the radio. A new study found that “women sacrifice sleep to juggle work and family commitments.” My first though….you needed to pay for a study to determinate this?

Lately I am so exhausted, but it is so worth it. I pray that all of you who are still fighting, still waiting are soon blessed with the opportunity to “sacrifice sleep”.

April ICLW

Hello and welcome form ICLW. You’ll notice that I am in the middle of telling a bit of a saga. Feel free to follow along or just take a look around. I am the proud mama of my 9 month old miracle, Leland, conceived through Embryo Adoption. I suffer from Premature Ovarian Failure and am finding along the way that there is a lot more to this diagnosis than just infertility. You can check out my infertility journey in the sidebar.

I’m also a wife and a lawyer. We are in the process of trying to move to be closer to my work. Right now my husband and I are each communing an hour in opposite directions. So the plan is to buy a house near my work, rent our current house, and pray that Robert finds a job (since he has to quit his current job in order to move close to my job). Right now we have an offer on a house, but it’s a short sale and we are just tied up in all of the red tape.

Trying to move is probably the biggest change going on in my life right now. What is the biggest change taking place in your life right now? 

Picture Overload - April 2012 (and a few from February 2012)

Here are a few recent photos:

Now...a few older photos. Robert's Aunt took these back in February and I just got them this week. It's amazing how much he has grown since then.



Clapping…and a love bite

Leland clapped today for the first time. We were playing on the floor at lunch at the daycare. I was singing Patty-Cake and clapping and all of a sudden he stated clapping with me. I went nuts with excitement. It was just so cute.

In news of other first, Leland has his first bite last week. One of the girls in his class bit him. It really was not that bad. It did not have the classing bite circle. It was just a tiny red spot. The daycare sends home an incident report telling you it happened, but not who did it. And if your child bites someone that send home a report that it happened, but not who your child bit. Well, Hadley’s mama was determined to find out who she bit and asked everyone until I admitted that Leland had been bit that day. Honestly, I think it was just a love bite. They play together a lot. I’ve seen Leland give her a kiss and I think she may have just been kissing him back when the kissing turned to teething. She’s a sweet little girl. When I visit with Leland at lunch she is always thrilled to see me. On the floor she climbs into my lap and hugs on me. And today as I left after lunch with Leland playing happily on the floor, she toddled after me to the door in tears. I tell her all the time that “we’re BFF”. So…it this Leland’s first girlfriend?

First Easter

Leland’s first Easter was quiet and low key. Before the church service we went to a pancake breakfast hosted by the men in our church.  Leland devoured his yogurt and then insisted on trying some pancakes. After church we went out to lunch just the three of us and then had a quiet afternoon at home relaxing. I was a little sad that we had no plans – and no invites – to celebrate Easter with family or friends. But it turned out to be a very nice low key day.

When we went out for lunch, Leland tried everything. He ate fish, zucchini, squash, mashed potatoes, cheese, and french fries. We have basically decided at this point that if Leland wants to try it he can – with the obvious exception of actually dangerous foods (honey, etc.)

Here’s a photo from Easter morning. He really enjoyed playing with the empty Easter egg:

Provera Sucks

I hate progesterone. Before we were TTC via embryo adoption I was put on a hormone regiment that included Estrogen patches (2 per week) and Provera for the first ten days of the month. I had been to see the experts in Premature Ovarian Failure (POF) at the National Institute of Health and this is the regiment that believe is the most likely to result in one of the 6% miraculous natural pregnancies experienced by those diagnosed with POF. This regiment balanced me out and made me feel good in general, but I would always dread the provera.

(Side Note: If you have POF or know someone how does, I really encourage you to make the trip to the National Institute of Health to participate in their program. It answered a lot of questions for me and was where I first learned about embryo adoption. UPDATE: The National Institute of Health no longer brings patients in for the study, but rather orders tests and communicates remotely with participants and their doctors)

While I am breastfeeding I am not back on my regular hormones and at times this makes me feel a little crazy. I am taking unopposed Estrogen (2mg / day) to support breastmilk production. I tolerate this pretty well but Estrace does make me a little tired. Then, every three months I am taking ten days of Provera to induce a bleed in an effort to so some spring cleaning of my uterine lining. But I hate it.

Progesterone makes me a person I really do not like. I am irritable and just plain grumpy. I really noticed this yesterday. It was like everything anyone did annoyed me. Even Leland was frustrating me. And then I was exerting so much effort to keep the pissy thoughts and feelings to myself and not express them or take them out on anyone.  I feel ill at the world right now and I don’t like it. I have so much to be thankful for and happy about that I really hate feeling so negative.  Hormones suck.  Oh…and then the prize for getting to stop taking the dreaded Provera….heavy bleeding for a week to ten days…yea!

Sorry for my ranting post….I promise to return to my normally happy and positive (progesterone free) self soon!

Getting Shorter?

I went for a physical this week. I am trying a new doctor because even though I like my current doctor it is a nightmare getting an appointment and she is very, very expensive. With my old doctor there could be a 3-6 week wait for a sick appointment and a 3+ month wait for a well appointment. And the last time I went for a sick appointment it cost $170. Most people only pay a co-pay and have no idea or care about the amount the insurance contract authorizes. But we have an HRA, which means the amount authorized by the insurance company affects our bottom line. In contrast to my $170 sick visit, I recently had an appointment with my RE with an ultrasound. That visit was only $180, including the cost of the ultrasound.

So…my physical went mostly well. But I am concerned that I may be shrinking, I have been over 5’2” since high school. Sometimes they measure me at 5’2.25" or 5’2.5", but never less than 5’2”. This week they measured me at 5’1”. Because of my concern they re-measured me at 5’1.5”. Still, I am a little worried. Because of the premature ovarian failure I am concerned about my bone density. But then I wonder if they just can’t measure correctly?

I also had another weird occurrence at my new doctor. After waiting nearly an hour for a blood draw, (BTW – it was after 10:30 AM and I was fasting…having been awake with no food for over 5 hours….did I mention I breastfeed and kind of need to eat?) the nurse practitioner called me back to draw my blood. She looked, and looked, and looked for a vein. Then dug in…and dug some more. Knowing where my vein is from all those wonderful past blood draws I knew she was way off the mark. She then pulled out the needle, and before I could blink RESTUCK me with the now unsterile, dull needle. I screamed a bit because I was so startled and the dull needle really hurt. I’m still not sure if I should say anything to her or the doctor or if I should say with this new office.

I am leaning towards staying with the office, but asking for a lab slip for all future blood work. And then only saying something about what happened if they question why I want a lab slip to take elsewhere. What do you think?

Offer #2

We put another offer on a house. It’s a short-sale, so it will be a few weeks before we really know anything. The sellers have accepted our offer, but the bank has to do an appraisal, assign a negotiator, and then accept or reject our offer.

This is a bigger house then the last house, but without a basement. It’s also on a very small lot, but it backs up to green space and the community has really great amenities. It also will require some work. Not so much that we can’t move in and work on the issues over time, but it is not a “move in ready” home. All in all, I think I like this home more than the last and I am very optimistic this will work out. Please keep us in your prayers. This commute is wearing me out.

Nine Months

Leland brings so much joy to our lives. He is such a happy boy, so full of life and energy. He has a smile for everyone. When we are out and he smiles at someone they light up as if they got a rare treasure from him. But I know that he share his smiles with everyone.

We had our nine month check-up today with a new pediatrician. I have switched pediatricians to be closer to the town where I work and where we will be moving in the next few months if we can find a house. Thankfully, I really liked the new pediatrician.

Leland weighed in at 16lbs 14.6oz (12oz heavier than he was just 13 days ago), which puts him at the 4^th percentile for weight. He is 27 inches tall, which puts him at the 11^th percentile for height.  Overall, Leland is doing great and is very healthy. His ears are completely cleared since his infection 2 weeks ago. His hemoglobin is a little low at 10.3 (10.4 or higher is normal). The doctor recommended over the counter vitamin drops with iron. I asked if I could just add a little iron fortified rice cereal into his diet and he said that would be fine.

Leland is starting to be just a little bit mobile. In a sitting position, he will bounce across the floor and can make it several feet using this method. He also rolls a bit, but does not do this very often. He is finally starting to explore the option of crawling as he is now more explorative with his body while he is on his stomach. While sitting he is able to reach for something and then sit himself back up. He is not yet going from lying down to sitting on his own.

Eating is going great. He is doing very well with his pincher grasp. He loves eating Rice Chex, puffs, shredded cheese, sliced pickles, and french fries on his own.  We recently tried fresh banana, but it did not go very well. I have tried introducing a sippy cup a few times without success. I have tried several styles but he just seems confused and uninterested. He is still eating three meals each day. Breakfast about 10AM of yogurt and applesauce. Lunch about 2PM of applesauce + 4oz baby food. Dinner about 6PM of 3-6 oz of baby food, plus lots of finger foods. He nurses 3-4 times per day and takes three bottles per day (2 bottles of breast milk and an afternoon bottle with 4oz of formula).

Sleeping has been variable. Bedtime is easy. We take a bath, nurse, and go to bed. Sometimes he is asleep when I put him in the crib, sometimes he is awake, but he goes to bed fine either way. Some nights he sleeps all the way through. One night when he was sick he woke every 30 minutes but fell back to sleep quickly. When he does wake, going back to sleep is varied. Sometimes he falls asleep on his own without us even going in the room. Other times, it takes about a minute of rubbing his back and he is asleep. Then sometimes he insists on nursing and acts like he has been starving for days. I am not sure if it is growth spurts, teething, or sleep problems, but we are taking it one night at a time.

On the teething front….lots of drool, but still no teeth. Which is fine by me because I love is little toothless grin. I especially love the way he tucks his lower lip over his lower gum. So sweet.

Leland it talking a little, I think? Since six months he stretches his arms out and says “ut” when he wants to be picked up. He has started saying mama and dada and I believe he is associating it with us because it is usually when he is interacting with us or calling us, not just random babble.

I’ll try to post some pictures soon and post more often now that we are all feeling better. My posting has been limited but I keep up on reading all of your blogs while I nurse. (Reading blogs on the iPad is easier than typing).