I have to admit, making the call to our donors to ask them to have testing done was nerve wracking. It’s only a blood draw, but it needs to be done ASAP. And because it’s technically genetic testing they will also have to meet with a MFM or genetic counselor. It felt like a lot to ask.
What I discovered is that they are happy to do it. Because they love these babies too. They understand the risk of an amnio and will do whatever is necessary to help us avoid the risk.
What seemed like a scary conversation – one that made me feel like I was imposing just a little too much – has actually turned into a bonding experience. It’s given us extra reasons to talk and email over the last several days. It’s made us partners in a mission, coordinating doctors and lab tests on opposite ends of the country.
This “open” relationship stuff is a little new to us, even though we have an open relationship with Leland’s genetic family. With Leland’s genetic family, we only started having personal contact after he was a year old. Prior to that the National Fertility Support Center communicated between us. I don’t think either of us would have minded direct contact from the beginning; it’s just that this was all so new and neither of us were sure how the other one felt. Even once we made direct contact, it has taken time to build a relationship.
With our twins’ genetic family, we’ve been talking on the phone and emailing for months. I’ve called her after each of my appointments and sent her pictures. With each ultrasound I know she shares in my nerves as to the health of the babies.
I am happy to report that the testing is underway and we should hopefully know the results by the end of next week (or maybe the following week because of the holiday next Friday). I am so thankful to our donors – not only for blessing us with these babies, but for loving them so much that they would drop everything and get this testing done so quickly.
What I discovered is that they are happy to do it. Because they love these babies too. They understand the risk of an amnio and will do whatever is necessary to help us avoid the risk.
What seemed like a scary conversation – one that made me feel like I was imposing just a little too much – has actually turned into a bonding experience. It’s given us extra reasons to talk and email over the last several days. It’s made us partners in a mission, coordinating doctors and lab tests on opposite ends of the country.
This “open” relationship stuff is a little new to us, even though we have an open relationship with Leland’s genetic family. With Leland’s genetic family, we only started having personal contact after he was a year old. Prior to that the National Fertility Support Center communicated between us. I don’t think either of us would have minded direct contact from the beginning; it’s just that this was all so new and neither of us were sure how the other one felt. Even once we made direct contact, it has taken time to build a relationship.
With our twins’ genetic family, we’ve been talking on the phone and emailing for months. I’ve called her after each of my appointments and sent her pictures. With each ultrasound I know she shares in my nerves as to the health of the babies.
I am happy to report that the testing is underway and we should hopefully know the results by the end of next week (or maybe the following week because of the holiday next Friday). I am so thankful to our donors – not only for blessing us with these babies, but for loving them so much that they would drop everything and get this testing done so quickly.
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