11.5 Pounds

Leland went for his three month shots today and we had them do a weight check. He weighs 11lbs 8oz. Yea! I had been so worried that his weight has stagnated there for a bit, but he was otherwise healthy and thriving, so I went with my gut and just kept pushing forward with how he had been eating. I am in awe of how God continues to bless us with a healthy, happy, and growing baby!

12 Weeks

Wow. 12 weeks. Such a huge milestone. I went back to work this week and he started daycare. So far daycare is going well. The daycare is two blocks from my office in downtown, so I am able to go by at lunch and nurse him. His first day, at lunchtime, he seemed a bit frazzled, but calmed completely after nursing. By the end of the day he was exhausted. Today he was calm at lunch and in the afternoon I found him just chillin' in the bouncy seat just taking everything in.

I don't have an exact measurement this week, but when I weighted him a few days ago he was still hovering around 10 pounds. He really hasn't gained much weight in the last two weeks- I'm trying not to panic. He is about 23 inches long. Now that he is at daycare he is eating 14oz a day of breast milk in the bottle and nursing four additional times per day for about 40-60 minutes each. He is sleeping great at night from about 9-10 PM to 5:30 AM. Now if I could just get to bed before midnight.

Right now he loves taking a bath, eating, his frog soothie, the giraffe rattle, and swinging on the front porch swing. He hates changing clothes and his car seat. His head control is getting stronger and he is spitting up less.

Rainbow

Today was my first day back to work. Leading up to today, I kept thinking that I can’t go “back”.  You can never go back, only forward. So while I was returning to work I wasn’t “going back”. I’m now a working mother. Getting out of the office on time, if not early, has never been so important. And this can be a difficult task for an attorney. So, I’m moving forward in my new roll as working mom, as I tackle the transition of returning to work.

It was as if he knew I was going to work today. For weeks he as been sleeping until about 5 AM. This morning, he woke up at 2:45 AM to sneak in an extra feeding, allowing him to nurse twice this morning before I left. Making today easier was the fact that my husband took off work to stay home with him. Monday may be harder as he starts daycare and I have to drop him off and leave. The plan for this fall is for my husband to take off two days per week, and for me to take off a day about every other week so he is only in daycare 2-3 days per week. He will start full-time in daycare in January.

As I pulled out of the neighborhood this morning, feeling a little teary, I noticed a rainbow in the sky. Another reminder of God’s faithfulness though this whole journey. I missed him so much today and held him for hours this evening. I’m told that it gets easier with time, but the ache and longing never really goes away. Every minute I spend with him is an incredible blessing.

One final praise. Including what I am pumping right now, I have pumped exactly the same amount as he took in the bottle today. God is good!

Squeals of Delight

Leland showed off a new skill today. He is squealing when he is happy or excited. It's really very sweet, especially when paired with his adorable smile. About three week ago, we discovered he has a dimple on his left. I'm now thinking he has dimples on both sides. Now, if I could only get a picture of him smiling. Until then, I'll leave you with a serious one. He really loves his frog.

Our Journey

Here's the recap of our journey:

1999 - age 15 - diagnosed with Oophoritis (inflamed ovaries) after 18 months of no periods. Told to take BCP and see a doctor when I was ready to have kids. Is this really a diagnosis?

2001 - started dating my husband

2006 - married

2007 - age 23 - got a real diagnosis of Premature Ovarian Failure. My ovaries look like raisins. Told donor egg IVF would be our only option.

March 2009 - Traveled to the National Institute of Health in Bethesda, MD for Premature Ovarian Failure study. Concluded Premature Ovarian Failure was likely autoimmune. Introduced to the option of embryo adoption.

May 2009 - "diagnosed" pregnant by my GYN. One week later - negative Beta.

December 2010 - started embryo adoption process

February 2010 - accepted with the National Embryo Donation Center

September 2010 - home study complete. Matched with 5 embryos.

November 16, 2010 - FET#1. Thawed 5 embryos. 3 embryos survived and transferred.

November 26, 2010 - POAS. BFP.

November 29, 2010 - Beta 993

December 15, 2010 - First u/s. One heartbeat.

July 3, 2011 - low amniotic fluid. Leland born at 35 weeks.

September 23, 2011 - first day back at work (more on this later)

Through this crazy journey I have found strength is God, trusting in His perfect timing. I have also found strength in my amazing husband and in the incredible group of women bloggers I follow. At times when I felt my journey wasn't progressing, reading their stories kept me going. In comparison to so many my journey has been short, but it hasn't been easy. And while having my miracle baby heals many wounds, it does not make me fertile.

Finally, a few things about me. I'm an attorney - I practice juvenile law. I have three furbabies - 2 cats and a very spoiled Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (Daisy). I enjoy traveling, sewing, baking, and kayaking - and any adventure with my husband by my side.

Ten Years

Ten years ago today I started dating my husband. He was 18 and I was 17. We met at a boy scout camp where I had been a camper (through a co-ed program sponsored by my local girl scout council) every summer since I was 13. We met the summer I was 16, but did not really get to know each other until the following summer. The summer I was 17, he was my camp counselor. I was smitten. I had never met anyone like him. After that week of camp I couldn't stop thinking about him. I even wrote about him in a letter to a friend that I wrote several weeks after camp.

Come September, I started working weekends at camp as a climbing and ropes course instructor. To my surprise, the first weekend I worked, there he was. When I saw him we exchanged hellos and he left. I quickly followed. That night we stayed up all night sitting on the deck talking. I had never laughed so hard with anyone, except maybe my cousin/best friend.

We stared dating. We were long distance for several years. Then for two years in college we only lived 50 miles apart. Five years ago he graduated from Georgia Tech and we got married the next day. He told me after we were engaged that when he went home after that first weekend he told his best friend that he had met the girl he was going to marry. When he married me he knew about my fertility issues, but never made an issue of it. He was always optimistic and supportive. Ten years later I can say it has been a great decade!

On the Charts

Leland had his two month appointment this past Monday. It was scheduled for last Thursday, but I did not want him to get shots a day before going out of town. This was a good call since he did run a low fever and was a tiny bit cranky for a day. Leland got his meningitis and pneumonia vaccinations. We are doing a modified / delayed schedule focusing on the most likely to contract first.

Leland had a great check-up. The best part is he is finally "on the charts" and is making great strides in growth. He weighted 9lbs 13oz and was 22.75 inches tall. His head was 15 inches. Plus it was great to report that we haven't had to supplement in over a month. Our last formula bottle was on August 12th. God has continued to bless us!