Converations with Leland: 5:55 AM Edition

Leland wakes up most morning about 6:30 am. When he gets up in the morning we go to my bed to nurse, snuggle, read books, etc. Most nights he wakes to nurse between about 4-5 am. We nurse in the rocker in his room and (thankfully) he returns promptly to sleep once he is done.

Yesterday morning he woke at 5:55 am.

This was his first awakening since going to sleep the night before. It was a little early to be "morning" but I had to leave the house an hour early for a court hearing so I figured it was a good thing he was waking up early and decided I would treat it as morning (diaper change, talking, etc. versus just nursing him back to sleep).

I changed his diaper and picked him up. He pointed to the rocker...

ME: You want to go nurse in the rocker?
LELAND: Side (one of Leland's words for milk/nursing)
ME: Don't you want to go to my bed to nurse?
LELAND: No
ME: You want to nurse in your room?
LELAND: *grunts* (again pointing to the rocker)
ME: Are you sure you don't want to go to my room?
LELAND: No (still pointing to the rocker)

Having accepted his preference for nursing in the rocker was unwavering, I gave in and took him to the rocker to nurse. He nursed for about 10-15 minutes .... and went back to sleep!

It seems I was the one confused. 5:55 am is not morning; it's the middle of the night. And in the middle of the night we nurse in the rocker and he goes back to sleep. Silly me!

Bad Mom Day

Today I am feeling like a bad mom.

I’ve been a little MIA as to blogging lately partially because it’s a busy time of year, but mostly because we have all been so sick. A stomach virus made its way though out household. The vomiting only lasted a few days, but Leland had 10 days worth of diarrhea. During the stomach virus, Leland regressed from waking once a night to nurse to waking four to five times per night to nurse – that’s about every two hours. I felt like I had a newborn again and have become a walking zombie with exhaustion induced mood swings. While he was sick, I had to check on him immediately when he woke up because sometimes he was awoken by vomiting or by a very full diarrhea diaper that had to be changed. I just couldn’t wait and see if he fell asleep on his own.

So last night, having fully conquered the stomach virus and convinced the night waking had to stop to save my sanity, I let him cry for 20+ minutes trying to fall back to sleep on his own. It wasn’t hysterical crying, but rather persistent fussing. But I still felt just awful. And in the end…when the fussing turned to actual crying…I gave in and nursed him back to sleep. I’m just not a cry-it-out fan, but I’m also at a bit of a loss as to how to solve the nighttime waking dilemma.

Then today at lunch, I nursed him to sleep. When I laid him on his mat he promptly woke up. I nursed him for another 30 minutes, rocking him, patting him, caressing him and praying he would fall back to sleep. When I finally had to leave to go back to work he was wide awake, screaming hysterically, and reaching out to me - begging me not to go. I felt horrible.

So I’m having a “bad mom” day and it really sucks!

Thirteen Months

With my very late one year post in mind I have been committed to being prompt with Leland’s thirteen month post. Today marks thirteen months exactly for my little man. July has been a very busy month, full of blessings.

I don’t have any updates on Leland’s height or weight since his one year check-up, but I can assure you he is growing. He eats, a lot! Sometimes he even eats as much as I do. He has a few new favorite foods: spaghetti with meat sauce; and steamed carrots. He is still nursing 3-5 times per day, although our nursing sessions generally only last between 5-20 minutes at a time. I nurse him first thing in the morning, after lunch, sometimes before dinner, before bedtime, and sometimes during the night.

Leland is sleeping though the night some now. He wakes up about 2 out of every 3 nights, usually between 2:30 AM and 5:30 AM. Lately, it has been closer to 5:30 AM, which is almost all the way through the night. He still naps in the car on the way to and from the daycare. We are trying to achieve an after lunch nap between noon and 2 PM at daycare, but this is slow going with limited success. Many days we can get him to nap, but often the nap only lasts 20 minutes. This week he graduated from the crib at daycare to a floor mat. This only complicates the napping situation.

Leland has his first tooth in the bottom front of his mouth. It started coming in around the beginning of July and is now nearly all the way in. He shows no signs of any new teeth coming in any time soon. He is so, so close to walking. He stands without support and sometimes tries to take a step. He literally runs around the room holding onto a push toy. I am nearly certain he will start walking this month.

We had a few little firsts this month. We bought him his first pair of real shoes. They are brown suede Stride Rite shoes. He mostly wears them to play outside at the daycare. Good baby shoes are expensive! I’ve made a note to check the fall consignment sales for some shoes in the next few sizes up. We had our first power outage last night. We encountered an awful storm on our way home last night and arrived to find the power was out. Leland had yogurt, fruit, puffs, and cheese for dinner. The power was thankfully restored about 10 PM last night. My biggest worry was that my small freezer stash of milk (about 30 oz) would defrost.

Leland’s vocabulary continues to improve. He calls Archer (our cat) and Daisy (our dog) by name. He says “cat” when referring to both Archer and Penny (our other cat). Frequently used words (as is words we hear almost daily) include: more, done, Daisy, cat, dada, mama, up, bye-bye, and Amen. My heart just melts when he says “Amen.” When we say a prayer at dinner he will usually repeat Amen after Robert and I say it. Sometimes he will say Amen over and over during the whole prayer. It is so, so sweet and I just love it!

Monday starts the new school year here and marks the start of a new curriculum year at Leland’s daycare. There has been some transitions in place this week, but next week he will officially be in the Toddler class, with new teachers, two new children added to the group, and a new daily schedule.

Leland with his Mema (great-grandmother)

Playing his Xylophone

Proud of his new IKEA stool - looking out his bedroom window...

With mommy in the kiddie pool

Ready for a bath

"Helping" in the Kitchen

Sleeping

 

Sleep

Achieving sleep is infinitely harder the more mobile Leland becomes. Now that he can go from laying to sitting and sitting to standing, it is so much easier for him to resist sleep. When all he could do was lay there – and maybe roll side to side – sleep would eventually come. But sleep is harder to come by when he is standing at the side of the crib.

Leland has always been a good night time sleeper. For the past several months he wakes at night to eat (usually twice a night), but goes almost instantly back to sleep when he is done eating. Bed time has been a breeze for months, making it one of my favorite times of the day – I just love the nursing, reading, snuggling, etc.

Leland has never been a good nap taker. It takes constant commitment to ensure that he takes naps during the day. When I was on maternity leave I just gave up on the nap battle. I was spending my days with him trying to get him to sleep and praying he would stay asleep rather than just enjoying him. Naps are still a challenge, but a challenge we are committed to taking on each day as we know just how important sleep is.

Leland was home with Robert on Tuesday and Wednesday. He napped a little for Robert, but only a little. Then yesterday at daycare he did not take a nap at all. Finally about 15 minutes before we picked him up he collapsed from exhaustion in one of his teacher’s arms. But a 15 minute nap does not count.

As a result of back-to-back days of poor napping, bedtime last night was difficult. It took 2 HOURS to get him to sleep. We rocked, we nursed, we snuggled. I would think he was asleep only to have his eyes pop open and him start crying again from the pure exhaustion. Finally, we lay down on the floor on a blanket together. Robert was on one side. I was on the other side. And Leland was in the middle. I let him nurse a will. We ignored him when he tried to play. Really, Robert and I were both pretending to be asleep ourselves. As difficult as it was trying to get him to sleep last night, lying on the floor together was really special and fun. Robert and I kept exchanging knowing glances through squinted eyes. Robert and I held hands and desperately tried not to giggle at Leland’s antics. One of the highlights of this was Leland trying to wake us up. He put his hands all over my face and attempted to shake me awake. He tapped on Robert’s eye repeatedly saying “da da da”. He tried to climb over me – out of the center of us – with no success. He nursed while sitting up and still trying to play. Finally, Leland gave in and lay down. Still awake, but drowsy, I put him in his crib and snuck out of the room. He finally gave into sleep.