As I thought about this upcoming Mother's Day I looked back at what I wrote last year and I think it really sums it up:
"It really stuck me this year what an awful holiday Mother's Day is. Although it is wonderful to celebrate the hard work and sacrifice our mother's make, it is really a holiday filled with angst. Grief for mother's (and their husbands) who have lost and buried their children; grief for women (and their husbands) still longing to be mothers; grief for those who have lost their own mother - or who may be estranged from their mothers; sadness for mothers who have placed their precious children for adoption; stress for how to properly honor our mothers in a world dictated by external, social expectations, obligations, etc. I feel so blessed for the ability to celebrate mother's day with my son in my arms and my mother by my side. And yet, I kind of wish this "holiday" would just go away. This is likely why I choose to spend the holiday out of town, [we were in Chattanoiga last year] camping, playing, etc. - escaping from the "real world"...not attending church...not going to brunch...."
I am so thankful to hold my three precious babies in my arms this year - I am often overwhelmed at the miracle of these three children!
I also struggling this year - missing my mom. I haven't seen her in over a month and won't see her again till at least the end of June. Her stated plan was to sell her home and move here (I live in my hometown; she and my dad moved a state away during my first year of college). But this plan has been in limbo for almost five months...and then this week she tells me she is applying for a job in a city in another state and is no longer actively making efforts to move back near me. Outwardly I tell her that I'm excited that she is excited, but inwardly I'm crushed and left wondering why she only wants a relationship at a distance.
"It really stuck me this year what an awful holiday Mother's Day is. Although it is wonderful to celebrate the hard work and sacrifice our mother's make, it is really a holiday filled with angst. Grief for mother's (and their husbands) who have lost and buried their children; grief for women (and their husbands) still longing to be mothers; grief for those who have lost their own mother - or who may be estranged from their mothers; sadness for mothers who have placed their precious children for adoption; stress for how to properly honor our mothers in a world dictated by external, social expectations, obligations, etc. I feel so blessed for the ability to celebrate mother's day with my son in my arms and my mother by my side. And yet, I kind of wish this "holiday" would just go away. This is likely why I choose to spend the holiday out of town, [we were in Chattanoiga last year] camping, playing, etc. - escaping from the "real world"...not attending church...not going to brunch...."
I am so thankful to hold my three precious babies in my arms this year - I am often overwhelmed at the miracle of these three children!
I also struggling this year - missing my mom. I haven't seen her in over a month and won't see her again till at least the end of June. Her stated plan was to sell her home and move here (I live in my hometown; she and my dad moved a state away during my first year of college). But this plan has been in limbo for almost five months...and then this week she tells me she is applying for a job in a city in another state and is no longer actively making efforts to move back near me. Outwardly I tell her that I'm excited that she is excited, but inwardly I'm crushed and left wondering why she only wants a relationship at a distance.
2 comments:
Sorry about the situation with your mom! That would be hard.
Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day with your 3 miracle babies!
<3
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