In addition to being busy this month, we crossed a major milestone. We weaned.
In some ways it was harder than I expected and in others it went and as smoothly and naturally as others have described.
Bedtime on Thursday, October 10, 2013, was our last nursing session. [As I type this I find myself holding back tears]. Although I have been working towards weaning for some time now, I had no idea in the moment that night would be the last. Had I known, I may never have put him to bed.
So this is how it went. We’ve been slowly reducing the number of daily nursing sessions over the past few months. At his second birthday we were still nursing 3-4 times per day. By the beginning of October we were down to just mornings and bedtimes. This reduction was at my encouragement, not his disinterest. But all it took was a gentle encouragement and a little creative distraction.
Wednesday (October 9th) a few minutes into nursing he asked to read another book. I seized the opportunity and said we could either read another book and then go straight to bed or we could go back to nursing. He picked the book and went to sleep that night without issue.
Thursday (October 10th) in the morning he never asked to nurse. He woke up hungry so we went downstairs, got breakfast and did not nurse. That night ("the" night) he nursed for just 5-10 minutes and then went to bed.
Friday (October 11th) we left for Disney World. I had been thinking this trip would be a perfect distraction and disruption of our routine. And if I was honest with myself, I knew he was ready. But I still wasn’t sure I was ready. Then, when I unpacked my bathroom bag Friday night, I discovered that my entire bottle of More Milk Plus (liquid herbs) had spilled in my bag - the bottle was empty. In that moment, I knew we had arrived. The whole trip we were so busy having fun that he never even once asked to nurse. We returned home on Monday (October 14th) evening. I let Robert handle bedtime without me that night.
Since then he has asked a few times about nursing - mostly first thing in the morning, but also a few times at night. A simple "we don’t do that at night anymore" or "Mama doesn’t have any more milk" has satisfied him. Thankfully, he has shed no tears. He has been extra cuddly, but overall he has adjusted wonderfully.
I, on the other hand, have had a harder time than expected. For the first week or so I felt extremely anxious and a little depressed. These feeling have come somewhat from the emotional change in our relationship, but are actually much more of a physiological response. It’s what I imagine it would feel like going through detox. I’ve had difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, felt jittery, and at times sad. It caught me off guard that my emotional reaction was so sudden and strong.
Another emotional aspect of weaning relates back to my production issues. I have a strong fear that my milk will dry up and I will be unable to provide for him - representing one more failure on the part of my body to properly mother. And, now, I’m intentionally allowing my milk to dry up. It’s an internal struggle, but one I am working through.
So, there it is. I’m both proud and sad to say - after 2 Years, 3 Months and 1 Week - we have weaned.
In some ways it was harder than I expected and in others it went and as smoothly and naturally as others have described.
Bedtime on Thursday, October 10, 2013, was our last nursing session. [As I type this I find myself holding back tears]. Although I have been working towards weaning for some time now, I had no idea in the moment that night would be the last. Had I known, I may never have put him to bed.
So this is how it went. We’ve been slowly reducing the number of daily nursing sessions over the past few months. At his second birthday we were still nursing 3-4 times per day. By the beginning of October we were down to just mornings and bedtimes. This reduction was at my encouragement, not his disinterest. But all it took was a gentle encouragement and a little creative distraction.
Wednesday (October 9th) a few minutes into nursing he asked to read another book. I seized the opportunity and said we could either read another book and then go straight to bed or we could go back to nursing. He picked the book and went to sleep that night without issue.
Thursday (October 10th) in the morning he never asked to nurse. He woke up hungry so we went downstairs, got breakfast and did not nurse. That night ("the" night) he nursed for just 5-10 minutes and then went to bed.
Friday (October 11th) we left for Disney World. I had been thinking this trip would be a perfect distraction and disruption of our routine. And if I was honest with myself, I knew he was ready. But I still wasn’t sure I was ready. Then, when I unpacked my bathroom bag Friday night, I discovered that my entire bottle of More Milk Plus (liquid herbs) had spilled in my bag - the bottle was empty. In that moment, I knew we had arrived. The whole trip we were so busy having fun that he never even once asked to nurse. We returned home on Monday (October 14th) evening. I let Robert handle bedtime without me that night.
Since then he has asked a few times about nursing - mostly first thing in the morning, but also a few times at night. A simple "we don’t do that at night anymore" or "Mama doesn’t have any more milk" has satisfied him. Thankfully, he has shed no tears. He has been extra cuddly, but overall he has adjusted wonderfully.
I, on the other hand, have had a harder time than expected. For the first week or so I felt extremely anxious and a little depressed. These feeling have come somewhat from the emotional change in our relationship, but are actually much more of a physiological response. It’s what I imagine it would feel like going through detox. I’ve had difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, felt jittery, and at times sad. It caught me off guard that my emotional reaction was so sudden and strong.
Another emotional aspect of weaning relates back to my production issues. I have a strong fear that my milk will dry up and I will be unable to provide for him - representing one more failure on the part of my body to properly mother. And, now, I’m intentionally allowing my milk to dry up. It’s an internal struggle, but one I am working through.
So, there it is. I’m both proud and sad to say - after 2 Years, 3 Months and 1 Week - we have weaned.
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