My Tough Cookie

Leland is brave and tough. He can also be a little accident prone. Remember the busted chin? Did I even mention the recent hand x-ray following a tumble down the last two steps at our house? He likes to keep us on our toes - which is of course a bit more complicated with twins in tow!

Yesterday we weathered the cold with a play date at McDonald's. And while playing in the playplace he fell. There was lots of blood and Robert had to venture in to carry him out. We quickly headed out - into the city - to the children's hospital.

Leland was nervous, but very brave. In the end he got three stitches - and I was even able to coax a smile out of him.

Checking in...

Some days it feels like we'll never sleep again. The girls continue to eat every three hours. The positive is that they are growing great!

Elizabeth is now 7lbs 3oz and Charlotte is now 7lbs 7oz (she has taken the lead!)

I'm healing okay for the Gallbladder surgery. The first few days were horrible - far worse than a c section as some of you indicated was your experience too. The worst part though - the shoulder pain isn't gone; so it apparently wasn't an issue with my gallbladder!!! I am now off to the orthopedic and physical therapy. And a horribly painful sounding treatment of dry needling (poking my muscle reputedly with needles in hopes of relaxing it and easing the pain).

Please pray for healing and pain relief. Not only is it hard to have so much pain when I am in constant demand for the girls and really unable to rest, but when I am in a lot of pain I find that it affects my milk supply.

Also in regards to pain and milk supply - my left nipple is split open wide. It hurts a lot!!! I've been airing it out, using lanolin, and hydrogel pads. Any other advice???

Charlotte

Elizabeth

Updates + Surgery!

There is so much I want to write and say - both to update you / document and to process things. I really wanted to document more of the NICU time, but it was really hard emotionally. I will however get around to writing about the battle of busting them out of the NICU.

For now, a few updates:

• We had newborn photos done last week. Here are a few.

• Girls are growing great. I weighed them last night (@1 month & 6days). Charlotte is 6lbs 2oz. Elizabeth is 6lbs 9oz.
• Nursing has it's ups and downs. The huge positive is that I am producing enough milk. On the difficult side is that they both have poor latches and are damaging my nipples. It hurts - A LOT! I've had a private lactation consultant come out. She was a huge help, though we still gave a long way to go until they are actually latching without so much help and continually nursing without me needing to re-latch them to prevent damage.
• My mom went under contract on a house near me (I live in my home town) and her house in Florida is on the market. It's only a matter of time before moves here!!!
• I've been recovering well. Amazingly, I return to my prepregancy weight as of last week. I lost 50 pounds in a month! Considering it took me 10 months with Leland to loose the weight I am in shock. It may be the nursing twins and that I am rather hyperthyroid at the moment (though we just adjusted my dose).
• Having my girls adds a new level to missing my dad. Still processing this though. Hmm.
• Bonding has been it's own challenge. I know bonding isn't always instant and I'm working through how I feel on this. I'm not sure if it's the twin thing, NICU time, the worries surrounding the treated NAIT pregnancy (IVIG), or that I've needed so much help that I don't have as much alone time with them. Any advice, encouragement, experience you have with this would help me a lot right now.
• Finally - we finally figured out why I gave been having severe shoulder pain since right after my c section. I have a 13mm gallstone. And thus ... I'm having surgery tomorrow morning to have my gallbladder removed. Because I don't have enough else going on right now. Please keep me in your prayers.

Nursery

With Leland having been born early, when I found out we were having twins I felt the push to get the nursery done quickly. I didn't quite succeed, but it was close to done by their arrival!

And, here it is...

Big Brother

Babies Are Home ( ... no more NICU!)

My girls came home yesterday. It was quite a feat getting discharge orders and journeying home. I will share the story soon.

Leland is thrilled - he keeps checking on them and doing a happy dance. My heart and home are full!

Still Here...

Still in the NICU. The girls are 17 days old. They have surpassed their birth weights by several ounces each. Elizabeth is 5lbs 7oz and Charlotte is 4lbs 15.2oz. We still have no clear discharge date.

I've been meaning to post. Wanting to update you all. Wanting to find an outlet for my emotions, but there seems to be no time. How is it that I am only present for two feedings a day and yet I am completely worn out. We travel 80 miles round trip everyday. There are no resources to help us stay closer. I've considered hotels, but in the city they are $200+ per night. And there is Leland to consider. Plus traveling (especially walking) between a hotel and the hospital after dark in that part of town is not really safe.

I start my day getting Leland out to school. Then stop back by the house to pump one more time before making the trip (Robert or other family have been driving me), arriving around 10:30 am. I nurse them from 11am-noon. Get lunch. Nurse from 2pm-3pm. Pump around 3-3:30pm. I also squeeze in some snuggle time with the girls and sit in for rounds with the medical team. I try to leave by 4:00pm to get Leland from school by 5:30pm. I am pumping 6-7 times per day in addition to the two nursing sessions with the girls.

The girls are doing well. We are down to just mastering eating. They are in open cribs with no resperitory support or IV needed. Vitals and temps are good. I'm feeling lots of frustration with the system - a very maternal "I can do it better than you!!!" I know that no one - not even me - can make them handle more than they are ready to, but I often feel they are not being given the chance to succeed. Like tonight when I called to check on them and asked about their 8pm feeding. (They have orders to do bottle feedings every time if they wake up and want it). The nurse said "Elizabeth took her whole feeding by bottle. Charlotte wanted to but I'll bottle feed her next time." I wanted to jump through the phone screaming "why won't you feed her so she can come home!"

Being away from the girls is so hard. Leland still can't see them. This morning he was trying to measure himself with a tape measure. I offered to help, noting he was now 38.5 inches. He said, "am I bigger?" I confirmed he is bigger. "Can I see my sisters now?" My heart broke - my face said it all - he walked away before I could even muster a verbal response.

Tomorrow night we will be staying over night in one of only four overnight family rooms (twin bed with an attached bath). This is a huge deal because these are typically in use by one of the 40 other families. They are wanting to give us the chance to practice bottle feeding without me having to switch my nursing sessions to bottle feeds. I'm excited to he able to spend 30+ hours straight with the girls. Robert on the other hand feels like we are under inspection as to whether or not we are capable of caring for our children and is worried about how we could possibly get any sleep on a twin bed while I am still recovering from my c section. I assure him that we are in fact under a microscope, but that's just one more stressful aspect of this whole ordeal.

Please lift us up in prayer as we work to get our girls home!